A preemie’s story

I was born on October 25, 1956. My timing was a bit off; I wasn’t expected until the second week in December, a sort of early Christmas present from the stork. Instead, I was an early birthday present for my mother, who was born in mid-November.

I jumped the delivery gun by seven weeks.

I didn’t actually plan this. If I had, I’m sure I’d have been in the proper position for launch. As it was, the first part of me the startled doctor saw was my tiny, skinny, wrinkled butt (a physical state I’ve never been able to duplicate, though at this particular age, I’m working on the wrinkled part and feel sure I’ll achieve it before long).

It was a real big pain for my mom, my premature birth. Dad was caught off guard but he took it all in stride. All he had to do was pace the waiting room, smoking, wondering which flavor he’d gotten and hoping he’d know soon so he could go buy cigars to hand out. Mom was the frightened, brave girl-woman with her feet up in the cold steel stirrups, though, unprepared for any of it, no anesthesia, no Lamaze training – hell, no cigarettes. They had a hard time getting me out – I guess maybe I realized my mistake and changed my mind. Anyway, my birth took a long time. Mom endured it, terrified as she was.

I’m flip about this now, 53 years later. But the fact is, Dad was terrified for my mom and for me, because being born prematurely in the middle of the 20th Century was pretty dangerous situation. It still is, but today medicine can save the lives of premature babies who would surely have died back when I was born. I was terribly early and breech to boot. I’m lucky to be here at all.

They kept me at the hospital, in an incubator, for seven weeks. During that time my parents visited me every day, but they weren’t allowed to hold me. A nurse would get me out of the incubator for a minute or two and bring me to the window so Mom and Dad could look at me. At least once she held me up, cradled in and balanced in one hand, so my Dad could take a photo.

I gaze at that old, faded and yellowing black-and-white print in something like awe. My head wasn’t even as wide as her palm. My bare feet – each with the correct number of toes – couldn’t have been more than an inch long. And my toes: think baby corn kernels.

“You were like a baby doll,” Dad used to tell me, wonder in his voice, “but you were alive.” I had yellow jaundice because my premature liver wasn’t ready to work on baby formula yet. I had yellow fuzz on my head. Today my left ear lacks the curl-over along the top, making it sort of pointed, like an elf’s ear, because I wasn’t quite finished when I came off the assembly line.

I like to think that perhaps there’s an elf in my ancestry.

I’ve never met another preemie, but I know of one other, a man who’s a year older than I, and who, in a quirk of coincidence, is also of Finnish ancestry. Stephen Kuusisto is a poet, an author, and a professor of writing and disability studies at Iowa State University. He’s a speaker, a blogger, an advocate for people with disabilities and a Fullbright Scholar.

Kuusisto is also blind, a victim of the pure oxygen that was pumped into his incubator to help keep him alive. The trouble was the oxygen sometimes damaged the delicate eyes of premature babies.

The medical world realized this mistake the same year Kuusisto was born, 1955. Unfortunately, the practice wasn’t stopped in time to save his vision. By the time  I was born, they no longer used pure oxygen in the incubator. My peepers were just fine, though I wear glasses and have for the last ten years or so. My eyes are getting old right along with me. Once again, I was very lucky.

I was a preemie, but I grew up to become an average-sized woman. I was on the slow end of the pediatric growth charts for the first seven years of my life, though, prompting my doctor to worry, privately, that I might be a midget.(He only told my mother years later.) Then I had my tonsils out and started growing like a weed.

Sevens have always been important in my life.

According to the March of Dimes, there are 31 percent more babies being born prematurely since 1981, the year my own daughter was born (right on time). Prematurity is the number one killer of newborns and can lead to lifelong disabilities. These babies aren’t only diminutive. They’re unable to suck, and often unable to breathe on their own. Their tiny bodies – their organs, brains, circulatory systems, renal systems and lungs aren’t ready for life outside the womb yet. That’s just not good. In fact, it’s tragic.

The March of Dimes – and millions of moms and dads and prospective moms and dads all over the world – would like to know why so many children are born before they’re “done.” Because right now, there’s no good, solid answer. Premature births happen without warning and often, without discernable reasons.

Many people are donating funds toward finding the answer, and a solution, for premature birth. You can be one of them, as I am. Visit http://marchofdimes.com/prematurity/index.asp for more information about how to do that, and how to raise awareness of this serious issue during November, Premature Awareness Month. Join us in the March of Dimes’ Fight for Preemies.

Thank you for your interest and for reading this post.


9 Responses to “A preemie’s story”

  1. My husband and one grandchild were born premature andI can relate to your story. Thank you so much for this great post and for reminding all of us that we need to fight for preemies.

  2. Such an interesting story, wren. I’ve read about premature births, but have never read someone’s first hand account. What an incredible photograph. Hard to imagine a human life that tiny. It must take incredible strength in those little bodies to make it through.

  3. That picture is absolutely priceless, Wren. Just unbelievable! What a treasure. Talk about fearless! Like Robin says above — such incredible strength!

    My niece was born about four weeks premature. The only thing that was noticeably different was that she wailed and cried her first year. Solid. We were all afraid. Very afraid. lol Even though the lungs are one of the last things to develop fully, that girl had the lungs of a lion. She eventually worked herself out, too.

    Very good post. Thank you so much for sharing it!

  4. I’m glad everything worked out for you! But you really should have posted this on your birthday, a couple of weeks ago. Clearly, not everything in this world is premature, especially those hard-to-come-up-with blog posts.

  5. coming several years after you (1968) I was 1#, 11 oz and similar story… I often think about the scenario and wonder how something so fragile could become a 42 year old hard headed person, but, here I am. Glad you are here too 🙂

  6. Hello Bluewren,

    i really would like to get in contact with you. Im Laura 28 years old and born in the 26 week. Marco Schlindwein and Me would like to make a bookproject about adult premature babies and there experience in live.
    If you would like to join us i would be very glad about it. If you know someone who likes to share there experience too we are happy for every preemie who likes to talk about it.
    You can contact me via email: laurakrines@yahoo.de

  7. Victoria Oakey Says:

    Thank you for sharing your story, I love the photo of you! I am really glad you made it.. As you don’t know many premmies I will tell you my story. I was born prematurely in 1968 and was in an incubator for 3 months, I know I am lucky to be here and to have suffered no lasting health problems because of my early birth and low birth weight, 2lbs 4ozs. I read an article about miracle babies – as we are known – and nurses say that only the fighters survive. Unluckily I was abandoned at birth and went into foster care before being adopted in 1969 by a special couple who became my Mum and Dad. I too was a small child, doll-like and slow to grow, my Mum also thought I would be of short stature but my Dad thought I would catch up as a teenager, and I did indeed grow up to be 5ft 3 inches with tiny wide feet, size 4E. I have a high IQ and emotional intelligence, i am an INFJ on the Myers-Briggs personaltiy test, rare but good, so being a premmie does not affect brain function and I have a BA Honours degree in English Studies. I also have what is know as a ‘pilot’s eye’ which allows me to distinguish visual data better than 95% of the population, and this is even with my lazy eye muscle as like your elf ear, I have a quirky not-quite-finished aspect to my body in a few respects. Did you know that there are traits for premature babies, such as a fear of enclosed spaces, due to being in an incubator perhaps? Namaste.

  8. Hello Wren,

    I have been drawn to this website by the priceless photo that you have there. Wow, what an amazing story and very encouraging as well. My name is Favor Brenda. i was born at 7 months underweight. My elder sister would say always she thought mom had brought home a doll as I was so tiny. Got a nickname I hated while growing up. I grew up well and left my small stature in my teenagehood years.

    When I got married and had my two boys, they both were preemies and had to be kept in an incubator. My youngest threatened to come out at 25weeks but due to medical intervention we made it to week 27. This made me to do lots of research on Preemies in my country and in Africa as well. Thus, the passion to reach out and make a difference was born.

    On the course I came across your photo. i would like to use it in my logo. Kindly get in touch with me at brendaanyumba@gmail.com.

    God bless you Wren.

    • Hi, Favor,
      What a beautiful name you have!
      And what a lovely story you’ve lived, as well. I think we preemies are pretty special people. It’s interesting that both of your boys were preemies, too, and so glad that medical science has come far enough to be able to persuade your youngest boy to stay safe and warm in your womb for a while longer. He was an impatient little fellow, wasn’t he! 😉
      As to the photo: Thank you for asking permission to use it (you’re very considerate!), but the baby in it isn’t me. (My mother has one of the nurse holding me up to the neonatal unit’s window, but I couldn’t get it from her to scan, at the time I wrote this post.) Like you, I found this photo in Google’s images of premature babies. I tried to find its originator so I could at least reference it to them, but ran into a dead end.
      I’ve had the photo posted here now since 2009, and the mystery originator has never contacted me regarding it. Given that, I think you’d be safe to use it for your blog/website as well.
      I’d be delighted if you’d stop back by here once your logo is finished–maybe you’d share a link to it with me so I can see it?
      Thanks for your lovely comment. 😀

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