I’m confused, now …

According to Newsweek:

According to a 2006 study by the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life, a third of white evangelicals believe the world will end in their lifetimes. These mostly conservative Christians believe a great battle is imminent. After years of tribulation—natural disasters, other cataclysms (such as the collapse of financial markets)—God’s armies will vanquish armies led by the Antichrist himself. He will be a sweet-talking world leader who gathers governments and economies under his command to further his own evil agenda. In this world view, “the spread of secular progressive ideas is a prelude to the enslavement of mankind,” explains Richard Landes, former director of the Center for Millennial Studies at Boston University.

No wonder, then, that Obama triggers such fear in the hearts of America’s millennialist Christians. Mat Staver, dean of Liberty University’s law school, says he does not believe Obama is the Antichrist, but he can see how others might. Obama’s own use of religious rhetoric belies his liberal positions on abortion and traditional marriage, Staver says, positions that “religious conservatives believe will threaten their freedom.” The people who believe Obama is the Antichrist are perhaps jumping to conclusions, but they’re not nuts: “They are expressing a concern and a fear that is widely shared,” Staver says.

Wait a minute, wait a minute! Time OUT!

Now, maybe I’m all mixed up about the sequence under which the Rapture is supposed to happen, but isn’t the Antichrist one of the dire things, along with floods, famines, great winds and the like, which must happen before a really pissed off God floats all the precious “saved” Christians up to heaven? And once they’re safely being issued wings and cloud blankies, Jesus returns to Earth in a huge snit to lay gory, disgusting and gleeful waste to the rest of us?
If that’s right, why are Christians so scared of the Antichrist, whoever he may be? I mean, wouldn’t they really want to welcome him right in? The sooner the better?

Don’t they really want to go to heaven?

6 Responses to “I’m confused, now …”

  1. Ah, yes–everyone wants to get to heaven but no one wants to die.

    What really bugs me is that all this rapture talk is a pretty recent development, theologically. I can only hope it fades away after another decade or two of the end not coming

  2. The News Writer Says:

    Now, now Wren. Let’s not go and get all logical. No wonder you’re confused, trying to make sense of nonsense.

  3. Bill Stankus Says:

    I think dire predictions, including the Rapture silliness, all began when humans decided to walk around in the open and not stay in caves all day long.

    The trouble is, as the population expands, we’re noticing the cave dwellers more and more.

    These fuzz balls were once so fringe the only places they were tolerated was in sparsely populated places. Raptureites, including the Mormons, sought out distant places – like Utah in the 1800s so they could scare the bejeezuz out of each other and not be embarrassed in front of those that read non-fiction books and had conversations about art and science.

    I blame the media for all of this!! It’s their fault for sensationalizing the trogloditic Rapture freaks. (wink)

  4. The News Writer Says:

    OMG! It is my fault! I admit it. I’m sorry. I blame it on … on … being brainwashed by the Big Corporation that owns my job! That’s it! I’ll try to stop, but I may be addicted. Guess I’m not gonna get to go when the Rapture comes. But that means I’ll get to stay here with all y’all. I like that. And they’ll be gone? I like that too.

    One thing to say for the Rapturites willingness to be more open about their Rapturism, though, is that it sure makes ’em easier to pick out of a crowd. I kinda like knowing who harbors these ridiculous ideas. Much easier to ridicule them that way. And y’know, normally I’m not one to ridicule religious beliefs. But this one … well, it just kinda calls out for it.

  5. I can’t wait for The Rapture. A vast majority of the stupid people in the world will be gone, and the rest of us will finally, maybe, get to enjoy a little bit of peace. That’s not to say everyone taken up into Heaven is stupid, nor that all stupid people will be taken (unfortunately) … just that, well, a vast majority of the foaming-at-the-mouth Christians and such I’ve had experiences with were too bent on their religion’s demands on beliefs to recognize and/or accept simple common sense and logic.

    As for Jesus coming down and raising all kinds of hell with us, I’m sure if we implore him to use the vast patience he supposedly portrayed in life and sit and talk with us before lopping heads off and such, we could probably turn him to our way of seeing things. He seems, by all accounts, to have been a fairly reasonable person in life. And he’s had, well, about two centuries now to sit back and watch things here on this lil’ rock, and see who’s stupid and who’s got their heads on straight. I don’t think it would take much to get him sipping tea and laughing it up with us heathens left to rot here as our horrible sins deserve.

    Bring in on, God. Anytime. Really.

  6. I’m going to enjoy the After-Rapture a lot with all you good buddies around. Sketch, I suspect you’re right about Jesus, too. He always was about being non-judgemental and loving your neighbor and all that.

    Newswriter, I know. Honestly. I can’t make sense out of nonsense, but there’s a part of me that just has to at least ask questions. I want to understand…

    Bill, I’m giggling over the term “fuzz balls” for fundamental Christianists. That’s just GREAT.

    Bubs, you’ve nailed it, really. Everyone wants to go to heaven but no one wants to die. Well, we can’t avoid death, it seems. But we CAN avoid judging and comdemning each other during our lives, and so like you, I hope this Rapture silliness fades away sooner rather than later.

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