Car pooling for Kevlar

You know, I’ve been wondering what I can do to support the soldiers serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. I’m not happy that they’ve been forced to go to war, but I’m grateful for their selfless service and I want them all home, alive, as soon as possible.

Not being a yellow-ribbon-magnetic-bumper-sticker person, and not having anyone in my immediate family serving in the military at the moment, it’s sort of a conundrum knowing what to do. Sure, there are lots of organizations helping soldiers and their families which I’m sure would be pleased to take my money, but I’ve already given to a number of them, and my resources are not unlimited.

I’m relieved to announce to that President Bush has been giving this issue a lot of thought lately, too. According to Tim Grieve at

In a Fourth of July speech at Martinsburg, W.Va., Wednesday, George W. Bush asked Americans to find a way to show their gratitude to the U.S. troops serving in Iraq and Afghanistan.

“There are many ways for our fellow citizens to say thanks to the men and women who wear the uniform and their families,” the president said. “You can send a care package. You can reach out to a military family in your neighborhood with a mom or dad on the front lines; you can ask somebody, ‘What can I do to help you? What do you need?’ You can car pool. You can be on bended knee and pray for a soldier and their families.”

Most of his suggestions I already thought of, except the praying one, since I figure that’s a waste of time. But … “You can car pool?”

How in the — oh, I get it! If I car pool on a regular basis, then I’ll save a few gallons of gasoline, which is made from oil, which we’re starting to run out of and anyway, burning it is destroying the planet, so using less oil during my next trip to town by car pooling will help conserve it and if all of us do this, then we won’t use so much and more oil can be used in Kevlar production, which is what body armor is made of and more body armor can be made for the soldiers to wear and maybe they’ll only get their arms and legs blown off by roadside bombs rather than taking shrapnel to the heart or lungs or guts, which would be more likely to kill them quickly, but if they just get their limbs blown off, then at least they’re still alive and they’ll be able to make good use of the new plastic artificial arms, hands, legs and feet which, because we have more oil, which is needed to make plastics, we’ll be able to produce for them.

What a really good idea, George.


5 Responses to “Car pooling for Kevlar”

  1. blue girl Says:

    I know this doesn’t really need to be said, but could he be more inarticulate? Could he possibly be more of a non-leader than he is?

    What a shame and so sad. He aggravates the daylights out of me.

    Anyway. I’ve been meaning to write something about this…

    …and thought you might be interested, too.

  2. Kevin Wolf Says:

    If you do believe in prayer, you’re probably already doing it. If you don’t, not. As a suggestion for concrete action it’s as idiotic as anything Bush has ever said. And that’s saying a lot.

  3. Madison Guy Says:

    George just keeps getting creepier and creepier, but Wren seems to be channeling Jonathan Swift. Great post!

  4. Madison Guy Says:

    Maybe you can also do something with the one with a pumpkin head.

  5. Doctor Rick Says:

    Hey, maybe a Kevlar vest might help you quit smoking. Everytime you get the urge to smoke, put on the vest. It’ll keep the harmful vapors at bay, and make it harder to inhale.

    from Doctor Rick, aka Dr. Quack

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